Adriana Lima on What it takes to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel


Most models would have you believe they eat whatever they like – “I eat burgers and French fries!” they protest, as if they fall out of bed every day looking like a magazine advertisement. Industry people know that’s not true, and so does supermodel Adriana Lima.

Lima is disarmingly frank about what it takes to prepare for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show – watched by eight million people, reportedly – in which the world’s highest – paid models wear barely-there lingerie as part of a production that costs $10 million.

So here’s what it really takes to be an Angel:  Lima, 30, has been working out every day with a personal trainer since August. For the last three weeks, she’s been working out twice a day.

The Routine

It is really intense, it’s not really the amount of time you spend working out, it’s the intensity: she jumps rope, does boxing, lifts weights.

She sees a nutritionist, who has measured her body’s muscle mass, fat ratio and levels of water retention. He prescribes protein shakes, vitamins and supplements to keep Lima’s energy levels up during this training period. Lima drinks a gallon of water a day. For nine days before the show, she will drink only protein shakes – “no solids”. The concoctions include powdered egg. Two days before the show, she will abstain from the daily gallon of water, and “just drink normally”. Then, 12 hours before the show, she will stop drinking entirely.

“No liquids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that,” she says.

Lima has been an Angel since 2000. She has since had a baby.

The preparation is all worth it, says Lima, because the show is the highlight of her year.

“Actually, the Victoria’s Secret show is the highlight of my life. Becoming an Angel, once I achieved that, it was a dream come true for me. And I know that after all this is done, when I sit down with my daughter one day, we are going to look back and it’s going to be very special.”

What does being hand-picked to represent the brand do for a model’s career (not to mention her income)? “It opens up so many doors, everyone knows your name, the whole world knows you now,” she says.

“Any model in this world would love to be an Angel.”

Thigh-High Boots: Flaunt Em or Shelve Em?

Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Lea Michele

Thigh highs aren’t just for hookers anymore. But should they be?
It’s a question you should take very seriously.

So I’m taking this chance to be a fashion critic…because I can!

It works on Kim because she’s kept it monochromatic. I love the suede boots with the light-coloured denim.

But whose boots should have been shelved? …It’s a tie.

Kourtney Kardashian has way too many things going on with the print dress, the fur vest, the Chanel bag and the Chanel boots.

Lea Michele strikes out as well. This would have worked on her if she wore dark jeans or black jeans to elongate her legs, because this makes them look a bit thicker than they are and she’s very tiny and very thin.

Still, I think I could give this trend the thumbs-up.

But if you’re not feeling the love, since thigh highs discriminate against anyone who doesn’t have long skinny legs… Bring it on or give this trend the boot.

Which side are you on? Sound off in my comments section!

Topical Costumes for Halloween 2011

Last year I did a list of topical Halloween costumes for 2010 and apparently people took kindly to it, as I’ve been getting a fair number requests for a new 2011 edition. I am nothing if not selectively pandering, so it’s on.

Here are 11 topical and pop culture costumes for Halloween 2011. I’ve tried to come up with ways to help put a twist on them, since I’d say all of them at least tiptoe into Obvious Land.

  1. The crew from the Royal Wedding – This one works best as a group costume, and everyone can do it for relatively cheap. The pretty, classy friend who lives in a fairytale world can wear an elegant dress as Kate… the friend without much of a personality can wear the “wacky” Beatrice hat… the slutty friend can be Pippa… and the awkward guy who’s rolling with you (because he’s secretly in love with one of you even though you only think of him as a friend and that will never change but he’s definitely willing to stay sober and drive) can be William.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Royal Wedding crew.

  2. Mark Zuckerberg – Since The Social Network came out after last Halloween there wasn’t a big rush of this last year. You’ll want to wear a Gap sweater and shower sandals. One big benefit: Extremely comfortable. Another big benefit: This is a particularly good costume if you’ve got a bit of the pervert bug — you can barge in on women using the bathroom and blame it on them not adequately establishing their desire for privacy.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Mark Zuckerberg.

  3. Harold Camping – Everyone loves a guy who’s bad at predicting the apocalypse. You need a crazy old man wig and a sandwich board to wear that reads: “The World is Ending! The Rapture is Nigh!”… then lists a bunch of dates crossed out.
    So far, this guy has predicted the end of the world for May 21, 1988; September 6, 1994; May 21, 2011; and October 21, 2011. Assuming the fourth time isn’t the charm and we do get to have Halloween, all four of those should be crossed out. Throw a fifth one on there, not crossed out, in speculation of his next doomsday prediction.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Harold Camping. (Perhaps as a horseman of his own apocalypse?)

  4. Natalie Portman from Black Swan – This is another movie from last year that no one’s gotten to do yet for Halloween. In many ways it’s an ideal costume — the leotard says “I’m a bit sexy” but the facepaint says “I’m mysterious and scary.” Plus, in both cases, it’s going to go over more universally than your Queen Amadala costume.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Natalie Portman from Black Swan.

  5. Katniss from Hunger Games – Carry a bow and arrow, wear a mockingjay pin, toss a little dirt on your face, wear tight earth-toned clothes, and put your hair in a braid. That’s all it takes to be Katniss.

    If you like this one, I strongly suggest wearing it now… the first Hunger Gamesmovie comes out next year which will make this the go-to costume for the”tough chick who still maintains a raw sex appeal” for at least the next decade. The only downside of wearing it this year: It will not be a good way to meet guys, if that’s your initiative. Guys (other than — ugh — ones like me) haven’t read these books, so they’ll think you’re dressed up as a Lord of the Rings character or maybe Hippie Link.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Katniss Everdeen.

  6. Charlie Sheen – According to the Internet, the Charlie Sheen mask is the best-selling mask so far this year… so if you want to go as Charlie Sheen, you’ll need to figure out a way to make your costume unique-ish. Try wearing glasses and an Indians hat for the Major League version of Charlie… a not-so-stylish bowling-type of short for theTwo-and-a-Half Men version of Charlie… or in a garbageman’s outfit for the Men at Work/potential future Charlie. Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Charlie Sheen.
  7. Nicki Minaj – It’s perfect — you can just recycle your colorful Katy Perry wig from last year. And if you had to use stuffing to achieve those signature Katy Perry breasts, just move those down south to enhance your signature Nicki Minaj buttocks.

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie Nicki Minaj.

  8. Insurance company mascots – Somehow, we’ve entered an era where insurance companies are the only ones who are still introducing reliably good commercial characters. The Energizer Bunny and My Buddy/Kid Sister are rolling around in their graves.

    Either solo or as a group you can go as Flo from Progressive, the Geico cavemen/gecko, a like-a-good-neighbor-State-Farm-is-there insurance agent genie, the Aflac duck or possibly even Dennis Haysbert.

    (And if you do go as Dennis Haysbert and bump into someone dressed as Charlie Sheen, have a Major League reunion or feel the wrath of diehard Indians fans everywhere. There are dozens of us! Dozens!)

    Also, zombies are big these days, so perhaps consider going as the zombie insurance company mascots.

  9. Zombie Steve Jobs / Zombie Amy Winehouse / Zombie Al Davis – You’re just a black turtleneck, beehive hairdo, or Raiders windbreaker and pair of BluBlocker sunglasses away from being mildly edgy!
    Also, dressing up as living people is big these days, so perhaps consider going as the non-zombie Steve Jobs, Amy Winehouse or Al Davis.


11 Sexy Photos Totally Ruined By People in the Background

There’s some part of human nature that really makes us laugh when attempted sexiness crashes and burns.

This photo collection is a celebration of that horrible, yet undeniable, instinct that we all have.

I’ve been collecting funny photos off the Internet for years and these are the 11 best photos I’ve ever found where someone (read: a woman) was trying to be sexy… but someone or something crept into the background of the photo and ruined it. Of course, what makes it better is that they didn’t notice the interloper and posted the photo online anyways… which brings us to today.

This is the first list in a two-part series… today I have 11 sexy photos totally ruined by people in the background, tomorrow I’ll have 11 photos of people totally ruined by sex in the background.

  1. The old man sleeps. Playboy bunny necklace… sexy underwear… curvaceous pose… oh, and grandpa sleeping on the bed while it all goes down.
  2. The model and the ginger. If you ever wonder why people get so creeped out by ginger kids, this modeling photo says more than words (or Cartman) ever could…
  3. The floater. A toilet really shouldn’t be incorporated into a sexy photo. An unflushed toilet ESPECIALLY shouldn’t.
  4. High quality parenting, take one. It’s hard to find her sexy when her kid is passed out, shirtless, in the fetal position, mere feet away.
  5. High quality parenting, take two. Again, if you have to exile your infant outside so you can take sex photos, maybe it’s time to close those things right on up.
  6. Biggest boobs in the photo. Do not go to any of the girls.
  7. Well, he did pay for all the ballet classes. I feel like old Russian men have a patent on the all white tank top-briefs look.
  8. Bikini shoot on the beach. I think he just wanted to be a part of the photo shoot. After all, his bathing suit is just as revealing as any other one pictured here.
  9. Under the pier. The kid doesn’t seem to know how he got there… he isn’t doing a very good job of concealing himself against that post… yet you feel like this is still one of the greatest days of his young life.
  10. Call a babysitter. I just can’t believe this is real.
  11. And she would’ve gotten away with this, too. If it wasn’t for that meddling TV.

Crave Attention? Launch a Fragrance

OMG! A few days ago, in an item about Paris Hilton helping open a shopping mall in Poland, you said, “Coming soon, Kim Kardashian appears at a milkshake bar opening in Dubai,” and here she is!

Who would have thought you were serious about that?

Come on, it wasn’t hard to predict. I mean, the woman was married less than two months ago, she is thought to be the highest-paid reality star on television, so why wouldn’t she go to Dubai to promote a milkshake bar? It just makes sense.

But if she craves attention so badly, why doesn’t she launch a fragrance, like Jennifer Aniston and Katy Perry and everybody else did?

Get with the program. Kim already launched a fragrance, four months ago.

I missed that. What about Paris Hilton, then? Can we expect a fragrance from her?

Sigh. Paris launched her fragrance years ago.

Say, Kymberlee, why don’t you have your own fragrance, if every other doofus gets one? It’s just the sort of flimflam we’d expect from you.

I do have one. You haven’t tried SARCASM, by Kymberlee? It hasn’t done very well, despite a serious ad campaign on rural billboards and a promotional tie-in with a popular brand of flip-flops.

What is the memorable catch phrase you use in your ads?

“Who wouldn’t want to smell like this?”

Gosh, it’s hard to believe folks didn’t go for that!

See, the SARCASM is spreading already.

 

Clothes From the ’90s Are Now Officially Vintage


The WSJ has been busy today bruising egos with an article announcing that ’90s clothes have officially been deemed vintage. But you shouldn’t feel embarrassed, they say, about all of those midriff shirt things you still have in your closet (as long as they’re designer):

The vintage world has a message for us: Be proud of your shame. These premillennial looks are no longer passé; they fall into the category of hallowed design history, and are ready to be donned again. Important vintage archives, retailers and private collectors have been avidly hunting down everything from ’90s Vivienne Westwood to Helmut Lang for the past several years, waiting for this moment.

They remind me that this season’s collections are full of ’90s throwbacks—lest I forget that Vena Cava did a zine for their fall runway show, complete with a picture of Gwen Stefani when she had braces and blue hair. Flash-forward to spring 2012, where Nicole Miller‘s collection was heavy on 1991.

Manhattan’s Rare Vintage owner Juliana Cairone says: “Buying from the ’90s isn’t on everyone’s radar yet, so it has still been less expensive than older vintage pieces. It’s only going to become more desired.” So you here that? You’re still cool. Which is good news for those of us who have yet to let go of the glory days of crushed velvet.

Perfect Wig for Your ‘Gay’ Halloween Costume

No, seriously, this Men’s Gay Costume Wig is an actual item for sale on Amazon.com‘s website right now – though, to be fair, it’s not being sold by Amazon.com itself, but by a company called Brands on Sale.

Is it offensive? Obviously. And Amazon’s (brilliant) customer reviewers are fuming—in the funniest way possible, naturally:

This item is not just for Halloween. This cute little number is my go-to wig for any time I want to be gay for a night. I got the disco shades and smooth fake mustache, too. The whole ensemble is highly recommended. It makes me feel so liberated! And the best part is, I can take it off in the morning, and it’s like nothing ever happened. Nothing, you hear me?

Also, wearers of the gay wig apparently are magically blessed with Broadway-show singalong abilities :

I don’t know how this wig did it, but it’s synthetic hair has miraculous powers. All my life, I’ve wanted nothing more than to be Gay. But sadly, I was born straight.

Why was life so cruel, I often wondered as I cried myself to sleep.

Then I saw this gay wig and thought, why not? I put on this wig and suddenly all I can think is gay, gay, gay. I’m wearing rainbow flags and I’ve learned all the words to Cabaret in a week. Now, my dream has finally come true! Thank you! You saved my life!